We made a very serious pact when you turned four that you wouldn’t get any bigger than you already had. Enough was enough. And, somehow, we have found ourselves here. In four short days, you, my love, are turning seven! Because you are the baby in our home, it is extra hard to let you go and grow. You, sweet girl, are one of the best surprises this family has ever received.
In just a week, Jordyn, you will officially be a 2nd grader. I remember being a 2nd grader, too. I remember best friends, kids’ choir, trips to the library. I remember getting to class in a hurry so I could tell my teacher I got baptized. I remember having my first real argument with a friend- the way hot tears streamed down my face when she stomped on a pretzel in the hallway and announced that was our friendship. (Don’t worry Jord, we were BFFs again before the day was over. Girls are complicated. You’ll see.) I can’t believe that you are old enough now to have your very own experiences. Experiences that you may remember when you’re an adult. I want you to have so many happy memories to look back on. I cringe when I think of the sad memories you might have, too. I want so much to give you all of the good things and none of the bad. Still, I know how important it is to experience both.
There are so many conflicting feelings in motherhood. Everything inside of me wants to hold on so tight. I want to keep you close to me. Keep you safe. Keep your ears full of kind words only. Keep your heart unbroken. And yet, I let you go. Because I have to. Because it’s my job to. Because I would be failing you if I didn’t. Because there is someone amazing God is growing you into and I will not get in the way of that. It’s the strangest thing to feel sad in the letting go and, at the same time, to be full of such pride in watching how strong and independent you are becoming. I love every part of who you are becoming. I still can’t believe I get to be your mommy.
Jordyn, Daddy and I found out that we were expecting you during a hard season of our lives. It was so scary to have two toddlers, to find out that we were moving to a state where we didn’t know a single person, and to have to figure out how to do life without our extended family right up the street. It was even harder to do that with morning sickness. But you were the most precious gift from God. Your sweet face made all of that other stuff seem small. You and your sister and brother were the reason why we were determined to figure out the new life we had been thrown into so quickly. Seven years ago you were born. And these seven years have been so much richer because you have been in them. When you were born, you made every single step we took just a little brighter.
You still do that.
You make every sweet moment sweeter. You make hard moments sting a little less. And not just for me and Daddy, but for so many other people, too. You are so good at being compassionate. You give out love like you have an endless supply of it. Keep doing that, okay? If all you accomplish in this life is loving God and loving others well, I will be the proudest mommy ever. I already am. No one can convince me otherwise. Daddy and I love you higher than the sky and deeper than the sea, Jordyn Elizabeth. Happy Birthday.