What a lot of people don’t know is that my mom was 16 and pregnant before it was “edgy” enough for MTV to turn it into a TV show. When I was a teenager, I got a kick out of sharing that information with people and watching their expressions. Some looked with admiration, others with shock. But I don’t think I understood the weight of what it meant that my mother was 17-years-old with a newborn until I had children of my own. I would have been in awe of the job she did as a mother if she had started a family at age 30, with time and life experience to help her a long. But, that she ran a house, committed to a marriage, and raised two well adjusted girls all while still growing into a woman herself….it takes my breath away every time I think about it. I will never know the full extent to which she labored for our sake. I won’t ever know about all of the private tears, silent prayers, or sacrifices made. But I have had a taste of all of those things in my almost six years of motherhood and I am amazed at the woman I get to call “Mom.”
My Mom is magical. I don’t know how she managed it all. Birthdays, Christmases….they were like a dream. How she figured out a way to make each occasion so special, even on the tightest of budgets, I don’t know. Santa came to our house even AFTER I was married, ya’ll. And don’t you even try to tell her that he’s not real. Because you will just offend her. Now that I get to create memories for my own kids, I know exactly the kinds of things I want them to remember…because of what my mother made my childhood for me. I also know that, as I mentioned before, she is magic. Because I am exhausted doing all the work special occasions entail and yet, growing up, I cannot remember my mother ever being tired! I don’t ever recall her groaning that she needed more coffee…as I often do. Magic, you guys. 🙂
Even when I was a moody, hormonal teenager, she was rocking the motherhood thing. She swooned over my writing, clapped the loudest at all my high school performances, forgave my emotional outbursts and tried her best to listen when I talked about the boys she was less than crazy about. And when those boys broke my heart (which she TRIED to tell me they would do from the beginning) there was never an “I told you so.” There were only Starbuck’s trips and letting me cry the pieces of my heart back together. Until the next crush. And then she grit her teeth and listened again. She is magic AND she is a saint. God help me have the same grace when my girls are teenagers.
As an adult I’ve thrown some curve-balls her way. When I was 6 months pregnant only 1 year into marriage and adopting a newborn, she had to have been nervous about all I was taking on. But she cheered me on every step of the way. The big move to Texas when I was only a couple months pregnant with Jordyn? Heartbreaking for her as both Mom and Grandma. But she pushed her own feelings aside to be there for me. I’ve scared her with phone calls full of all the raw emotions that come along with working with people in crisis…but she’s trusted my discernment and prayed continually when she probably wished I’d choose to just play it safe. When God calls my kids to do the brave hard things, I hope I’ll be as supportive as she’s been.
And because she is, of course, one of my most faithful blog followers, I’d like to directly address her. Because Mother’s Day is coming and she deserves it.
I honor you. For all of that sacrifices you have made, both seen and unseen. For the way you have loved Gynafer and I relentlessly. For the hours and hours you have spent in prayer for us. For being our biggest fan. For the way you let us make mistakes and then helped us pick up the pieces. We are blessed. We are so well loved and that has made all the difference. That love has taught us how to love others. All of the differences Gynny and I are trying to make in the world, all of the sacrifices that we make to care for those around us…it’s because of the example you have been. I am so glad God made you my mother. Love you!
Until the next blog…be blessed!